Take out the trash

It is November and the state is slowly opening up. Some locals are very fearful, others are anxious. What most don’t realize is, they are confused. For the past 8 months, we’ve been told to social distance, not gather, wash your hands, wear your mask, and also to the point of reporting high number of cases to instill even more fear.

 

Somehow, as the state is reopening, we learn we are allowing visitors to come. Huh? How? Why? If we, the residents of this state are restricted, how will the state allow outsiders to come in and  enjoy the home we have no liberty to enjoy? 

This virus, which at this point is not even COVID-19 anymore has been renamed: FEAR, and it has divided the people. It has shaken the Christians. The ones who believe that God is in control of all things. The enemy has used the virus as an open door of tactic to come in and rob the joy of the children of God. It took the opportunity to attack the faith of a believer. Simultaneously, it is a test of faith to the true believer (wheat). The beginning of the pressured world. 

I believe this was an opportunity given by God to showcase publicly, the living word. Now, we have the greatest assignment to apply and live out every sermon we have ever heard, every hallelujah, every amen we have shouted, every “yes, praise God!”, every “preach it preacher”, every “tell it Pastor”, every single response to all sermons and lessons taught. We now have the chance to publicly bring glory to God. 

Restrictions have now slightly lifted. We are welcoming people to the island as long as they can provide a negative COVID test 72 hours prior to their arrival. Some were kept at the airport only to be put back on the plane due to various reasons: incorrect test, tested not by one of the trusted partners listed, results expired, or no proof of any test. Yes, I have filtered these calls - both from TSA and from the guests. Believe it or not, some guests would go back home, pay over $120 for the correct test just to come back in the next couple days! The crazy part is, they were only staying for 3 days!! They also had the option to quarantine. 

All of these options are being offered to our visitors. Yet, keep in mind, our keikis are still not in school nor do they even have a legitimate plan in place for the near future. Our local community rules are to social distance, no gathering of more than 5 (eventually 10). I mean, is that even possible? One family alone could be 9🙋🏻‍♀️meanwhile at the hotel…

I quote Colossians 3:23 often - [paraphrasing]; Lord I work for you. Everything I do God, I do unto you and not this job, not this company, not the guests…I work for YOU, Lord.

I utter this under my breath as I mute myself during or after a frustrating call.

So here I am again…sitting at work, answering calls with comments such as “I wasn’t able to travel all year last year, can you make my trip special?” Or “I’ve had to cancel my trip last year because of the closure” or “I KNOW you’re going to make our stay memorable since the world was shut down last year”. 

I’ve had to hold my tongue quite a few times. The verbal communication has become so aggressive at times, it’s gotten me to mute the call, while i sit in anticipation of yelling back.

Call after call, they are one in the same. They all want the same thing, they’re all celebrating the same thing, and their reasons are the same. 

But weren’t we all shut in at the same time? People forget that there are people who live where they vacation. This is not a place to spend your money and disrespect the people/island. This is where we live. This is our home. We too, have experienced loss here on this beautiful island you visit.

PC: @kakoo_haleakala

The next call came through and after answering her questions, one of which another mandate was to take effect the day of her arrival - a 2nd test required as soon as you get off the plane, She done flipped her lid. Then opened mine! She yelled “do you know that you guys are driving people away from coming to stay? Do you know you are driving people to vacation in Europe instead? Do you not want people coming? I want to come and make sure there are no protestors and ensure that I will have the most wonderful time without anyone or anything bothering us. I know you just WORK there…” 

Imagine me for a moment, listening to all this trash in my ear, trying to make its way to my heart just to vomit it all out on that one day. That one day came soon.

My heart is beating a million miles an hour, my lips are stammering, my legs are shaking, my hands are trembling. By this call, fumes were coming out of me, my face was red, I could feel my ears already hot and I cut her off — “NO! We don’t want you here!” surprised, she asked very softly, “wh…wha..what? You don’t want people there?” To that I answered, “nope, not right now we don’t! Do you know WHY people are protesting? It’s because we’ve opened up our island to visitors while our kids are not even allowed to be in school yet! And no, I don’t just WORK here. I LIVE here. I’m from here. I have a family. When I clock in to work, there are rules. When I clock out into my community, there are DIFFERENT rules for us locals. We don’t have the same privilege as visitors do.”

As soon as I got off the phone, I left the office, feeling so stirred inside. I felt a rage inside of me- a new feeling of how I perceive people. I’m learning that there are some ugly people out there. They know nothing about compassion or gratitude. Everything is for “self”. This world has become a “one man for himself” type of world. I started to develop a feeling of not liking people much. 

I called my husband from my phone as I stood on the balcony of the hotel lobby. When he answered, I said “pray for me” and just wept. 

I have never felt so mentally drained. If there was one thing to be learned In this pandemic, it is that mental health is real. I’ve become so numb to people’s (when I say people, I really mean tourists) feelings. 

I found myself spiraling into depression…a feeling so suppressed that I felt so sad. Sometimes for no reason. But I knew deep down, that was the root of it. It was the daily calls of listening and consuming their “trash” and allowing it to sit. I had to take out the trash. 

I go to God with my every plea and petition to help clear my mind and cleanse my heart —every compartment of my heart. This is the very reason why I need God in my life…because I’m not perfect. And I need Him to help me in these areas I am weak in…even as small as controlling my tone of voice when I speak to these people. It may sound small but it’s the small things that matter.

My prayer is that every person reading this will take time for themselves, seek God, and “take out the trash”. Most importantly, just remember - it is just merely a test.